There was a time in my life when I was fascinated with picking carrots, the reason being the excitement that came with not knowing what was beneath and, more importantly, the power to find out by just pulling them out of the ground.
When I joined law school, I wanted to get a first-class, and this was the dream: getting those deafening claps at the end of the four years, becoming the best. I got it after spending my entire year in the library, reading and re-reading my class notes. There was no way I could not get all As—that is what I tell myself right now. I remember when I got my first-year transcript. I had an average of 71, and I was depressed. I questioned myself deeply about what I had achieved, and I realized that I had become hollow. It was as if my legs were tied to an anchor, and I could only go down, and as much as I tried to go to the surface, I could only reach a certain height. Such an opposite reaction. It was at this time that I started searching for the spirit of education, and I then vowed to read widely. It was not easy teaching myself how to study in such a way that would satisfy something beyond getting As. In the conventional sense, what is better than a student who gets a first class? What was this "more" that I was searching for? I did not know.
The second year was me in my revolutionary self, reading literature, law, philosophy, poems, music, and watching documentaries alongside catching up with classwork. When exams came, it was tough. I did not know how to use this to my advantage (I now know), and that, coupled with reading less classwork (lack of balance), caused my grades to drop. This weighed on me because I thought I was on the right track—I was becoming what, according to me, was an ideal student. The question I was asking myself was: was what I was doing worth it? Why not just get a first class? It’s not that bad. It is not like the worst thing that could happen to me in law school.
It’s funny now, but it was not then because I had to wake up every morning and question my purpose in law school. I have never felt so empty in life. I must say it was the hardest point in my life. Then, one Sunday, I woke up and wanted to end my misery, so I texted my dad and said I was quitting law school. He asked me to go home, and we talked, and I decided to give law another chance. For those who are thinking I was pressured to do law, that was not the case. I wanted to do law since I was six. My dream at the time was to start my foundation called RJK (from my initials) “Rights for Junior Kenya.” And although I am passionate about education right now, law was the best foundation for starting my academic career.
I always like to say Avid Readers’ Forum was created for me, just to be cocky. The reason is, that it started during this time in my life, and it provided an alternative to studying legal stuff. It was small at the time. I could not miss any session. It was a family to me, and just listening to diverse views and perspectives was inspiring. I found what I was looking for and more. What is interesting is that it inspired my research area in education, something that I did for my undergrad thesis and will do for my master’s and PhD.
My current read is a book by Olúfémi Táíwò, “Africa Must Be Modern: A Manifesto” (it’s an easy and hard-to-read book). Easy because of the way it has been written, and hard because it is too honest. Anyway, he explains the importance of pursuing knowledge for its own sake. This is what Avid Readers taught me: just pursuing knowledge for its own sake. This art has since become my “smart”; it has helped me chart my career path, creating my niche (still in the process). More importantly, it loosened the anchors on my feet—I could float.
What I mean when I say I could float is, I became critical of the things I was reading and my environment, but also it was the first time I could see myself beyond the confines of doing law and becoming a lawyer. To me, it was simple: if I could read anything, I could become anything (not at the professional level—papers and stuff) …just for the sake of it. It even made me critique the education I was receiving, and this inspired me to apply for my current master’s program.
The interesting thing about my application for my current master’s is that I applied for it before I graduated (with my provisional results), and I had not finished my dissertation. For those who know Erasmus Mundus, know that it is a very competitive scholarship. Looking back, what made me this bold is my journey in law school, and especially the influence of Avid Readers, I could not have made it without the amazing recommendations from my teachers who knew me through Avid Readers. In short, what Avid Readers gave me is this internal confidence that I can sum up with a line from Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car”: “I had a feeling that I belonged, and I had a feeling that I could be someone.” Maybe, after all, this is the spirit of education I was searching for.
The acquisition of knowledge has been a lifelong passion for me, and I consider it the greatest skill I have gained from being an avid reader. I like to describe this process as a "hunt" for knowledge—similar to what Freddie Mercury once referred to as "musical prostitution." However, I do not mean this in the conventional sense. Instead, I use "intellectual prostitution" to echo Freddie's idea of refusing to limit himself to one music genre. For me, it's about embracing a relentless pursuit and open receptiveness to all forms of knowledge, with the ultimate goal of building and creating something meaningful.
This is my story.
Carrots.
